I'm not covered in frosting and sprinkles, so don't call me cupcake. You can't sweeten your tea with me, so don't call me sugar. And last time I checked, I don't have whiskers and a tail, so please don't call me kitten.
I don't like pet names. I don't like being compared to anything edible, or to any kind of animal, or to anything that reeks of cute. My parents gave me a perfectly acceptable first name -- in fact, I rather like it. There are many names that make me cringe, but since I'm a George Carlin fan, I thought I'd use his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" as a model.
So, here are the seven words you should NEVER call me:
1. Babe, baby
2. Sweetie or sweetheart
4. Hon or honey
7. Girl, girlie, girlfriend