Brain Candy: Derpy cats, texting dogs and…Keanu Reeves?

That may be a strange combination. Or maybe not. This week I’m proud to introduce a new feature guaranteed not to make your life any better in any measurable way. It’s Brain Candy, and it’s something you’re going to curse me for.

I have the attention span of…hey…a squirrel! Is he wearing a monocle? What? Oh, right. Sorry, I got distracted. But seriously, did you see that squirrel? As I was saying, I can’t work on an assignment for more than half an hour before my brain either shuts down or wanders off to very dangerous places. To prevent spontaneous combustion, I take a short break by perusing some of the Web’s more obscure and offbeat sites. It usually gets me past my block, because how can you possibly be in a cruddy mood after looking at pic after pic of cats wearing sweaters?

1. Derpy Cats

Squeee! Cats in sweaters! Cats climbing window screens! Cats yawning! Cats in boudoir poses! I dare you to get any work done after one look at the site promising “only the derpiest cats the Internet can provide.”

2. Text From Dog

I wish my dogs and I could text each other. “Text From Dog” is an astute, though imagined look inside a dog’s mind, featuring text conversations between the owner and his dog, who frequently calls his human “asshole.” Though I have no proof of what dogs think, I suspect the conversations on this site are remarkably accurate, because there have been several times when my dogs’ barks sounded eerily like “asshat,” and I know they frequently get stuck in “batshit crazy mode.”

3. Keanu Reeves Quotes

“It’s still true that I am afraid of the dark, but I mean that in a real philosophical way.”

Keanu Reeves is either a quietly brilliant, misunderstood, underrated thinker or a vapid pretty boy with a knack for disguising rambling comments with eloquent but confusing language. Sometimes he reminds me of Peter Sellers in “Being There.” This site isn’t frequently updated, but a quick browsing gives you insight into what Ted, I mean Neo, I mean Keanu thinks about everything from the perfect date to the fact that "fame is a drag."

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