...write.
Why did I become a journalist? Because I enjoy writing? Partly. Mainly, though, because I couldn't decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. So many interesting careers -- too many for one lifetime. With journalism, I live vicariously through the people who have devoted their lives to those professions I was so enthralled by as a child. One day I'm interviewing the lead singer of a country-rock band, the next day a painter, the day after that maybe a web designer. Sometimes, I even get to interview a CEO. And I learn something from everyone I interview; probably more than if I'd focused on only one thing my entire life, in fact.
I've considered dozens of careers, but these have fascinated and influenced me the most:
1. Astronaut
I really liked this one. It sounded exciting, but, alas, I’m afraid of heights, and I’m rather fond of this gravity thing. So, back to the drawing board.
2. Astronomer
If I couldn’t fly to the stars, I figured I could at least I could look at them.
3. Actor
I was pretty determined about this one. I even started college as a theatre major, until I discovered that all of the other actors had egos the size of Jupiter and brains the size of a subatomic particle. And the directors were all crazy control freaks. Or maybe I just caught them all on a bad day.
4. FBI Agent
If only I could be like Mulder and Scully!
5. Archaeologist
What could be more fun than digging in the dirt all day?
6. Photographer
I've actually dabbled in this one off and on since childhood, and when I was a full-time newspaper reporter, I also doubled as a photographer. Granted, most of the photos were of the "mugshot," "line up" or "grip-and-grin" variety, but it was a lot of fun.
7. Bellydancer
I haven't given up on this one. ; )
8. Blues singer.
Now this one, I could see myself dedicating my life to. However, I cannot sing. In fact, I would be more likely to get people to pay me NOT to sing. Hmmm...now there’s an idea.
Top 10 Rejected Titles for This Blog
Cut me some slack! I was sleep-deprived and high on chocolate when I wrote these. Mmm...chocolate...
1. America’s Most Unwanted
2. Cherchez Le Femme
3. Delusions of Grandeur
4. Hot Air
5. Dead Air
6. Stuff and Nonsense
7. Shallow Thoughts
8. Speaking in Tongues
9. Without a Clue
10. Off the Deep End
1. America’s Most Unwanted
2. Cherchez Le Femme
3. Delusions of Grandeur
4. Hot Air
5. Dead Air
6. Stuff and Nonsense
7. Shallow Thoughts
8. Speaking in Tongues
9. Without a Clue
10. Off the Deep End
My possessions are causing me suspicion...
If you are reading this, it is because I have been the victim of an unfortunate “accident.” My conspirators were clever, disguising themselves as some of my dearest friends. But slowly, they begin to plot against me, until eventually I had no one left to turn to. Why not go to the authorities? Because no one would have believed me. And they counted on that.
The computer was the first to turn on me. Files disappeared. My settings changed and changed back again. I got disconnected from the Internet every five minutes. Had I been hijacked? I couldn’t stand the thought of my poor, reliable old computer being violated like that. I downloaded every spyware killer program I could find. I deleted unnecessary files. I did everything I could to help my computer perform better. But it was no use. Eventually I had to face the truth: My computer was out to get me.
The television was next. There was this eerie green spot. It grew smaller and larger, and almost looked as if it were breathing. Sometimes it was just a speck. Other times it covered nearly half the screen. It never appeared when other people were present. Only when I was alone.
But the kitchen appliances were the cruelest. The refrigerator appeared to be the ringleader. It started with the occasional shock whenever I would touch the handle. Soon, I couldn’t open the door at all. Oh my sweet Haagen-Dazs, trapped in there all alone and uneaten! Then the other appliances joined in. The garbage disposal would make terrible noises and refuse to dispose. And then it would act as if nothing had happened. Sometimes it wouldn’t work for days. Sometimes it would make terrible, ear-splitting noises. I never knew what to expect.
Please, please, please, if you read this, take a long hard look around you. They say technology is our best friend. But is it? Please, don’t let them get away with it! Don’t let them take over! They’re ruthless! Ruthless, I tell you! They’ll stop at nothing! And you could be next...
The computer was the first to turn on me. Files disappeared. My settings changed and changed back again. I got disconnected from the Internet every five minutes. Had I been hijacked? I couldn’t stand the thought of my poor, reliable old computer being violated like that. I downloaded every spyware killer program I could find. I deleted unnecessary files. I did everything I could to help my computer perform better. But it was no use. Eventually I had to face the truth: My computer was out to get me.
The television was next. There was this eerie green spot. It grew smaller and larger, and almost looked as if it were breathing. Sometimes it was just a speck. Other times it covered nearly half the screen. It never appeared when other people were present. Only when I was alone.
But the kitchen appliances were the cruelest. The refrigerator appeared to be the ringleader. It started with the occasional shock whenever I would touch the handle. Soon, I couldn’t open the door at all. Oh my sweet Haagen-Dazs, trapped in there all alone and uneaten! Then the other appliances joined in. The garbage disposal would make terrible noises and refuse to dispose. And then it would act as if nothing had happened. Sometimes it wouldn’t work for days. Sometimes it would make terrible, ear-splitting noises. I never knew what to expect.
Please, please, please, if you read this, take a long hard look around you. They say technology is our best friend. But is it? Please, don’t let them get away with it! Don’t let them take over! They’re ruthless! Ruthless, I tell you! They’ll stop at nothing! And you could be next...
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